Caitlin Sanders

Celebrating the extraordinary treasures found in life's ordinary moments.

For the Love of Peonies

I glance at the peony on the window sill, and admire its loveliness.

It is a large bloom, a light and delicate shade of pink in color.

I’ve known others to rave about peonies but I never quite understood. Perhaps because of never actually seen one in real life.

Now I get it, I think to myself.

There is a softness to them. And a fullness. Which, together…just feels right.

I remember a quotation from a dear friend of mine. It’s funny, because she too had the same softness, yet fullness of life.

Anyway, she said,
“Life is a leap of faith; a bold declaration of hope.”

I can’t count the number of times over the last few years since she left my life that I’ve thought of this quote. And that I’ve found myself thinking, she was absolutely right.

Just being here is an act of courage. Our very presence is a gift of grace.

And I do not say this lightly.

I know the heart wrenching anguish of this life. I know what it’s like to be at the brink, to be in such agony that all I want is a break from this life.

But I also know what it’s like to listen to a song, hear a simple harmony and have it break my heart wide open, as I cry and cry at what a holy and magnificent privilege it is to be alive.

And how is it that we were created to hold such depths? To be able to FEEL such depths?

This is not something that everyone can do. But my guess is, if you’re here reading this right now, you can.

Not everyone can face it all. Not everyone can allow themselves to feel it all.

Let alone face it and feel it at the depths that we do.

And while this may feel like an absolute curse to you, you’re right, because sometimes it is!

It is also one of our greatest treasures.

It’s what makes us fully alive.

It’s what helps us to bring new life into a world that so desperately needs it.

So.
You are magnificent.
Your softness and your fullness are to be celebrated–and they are.

Today, I hope you’ll join me (and the angels and all of life) in celebrating the wonder and the miracle that you already are.

You are held and loved in each moment, dearest one.

May you feel and rest in this knowing, now, always, and forever.

March 12, 2017